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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830275">We Will Be Ok</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonTears717/pseuds/DragonTears717'>DragonTears717</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Given (Anime), Given (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jealousy, M/M, Mention of Death, Sad Mafuyu, Sad Uenoyama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:27:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonTears717/pseuds/DragonTears717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Uenoyama hates feeling secondary to someone. He had devoted so much time to the guitar and music so he wouldn’t have to feel secondary to anyone. Uenoyama also hates feeling worthless or useless. </p>
<p>Despite no longer being alive Yuki constantly makes him feel like that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka, Satou Mafuyu/Yoshida Yuuki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>169</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We Will Be Ok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this is kinda a vent fic, but I’ve seen a lot of fics about Mafuyu missing Yuki and Uenoyama comforting him and I wanted to write something about how Uenoyama felt because jealousy really sucks sometimes. Anyways I hope you enjoy this and please leave a comment or kudos if you like it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Uenoyama hates feeling secondary to someone. He had devoted so much time to the guitar and music so he wouldn’t have to feel secondary to anyone. Uenoyama also hates feeling worthless or useless.</p>
<p>Despite no longer being alive Yuki constantly makes him feel like that.</p>
<p>Uenoyama knows that Mafuyu loves him. But he also knows that part of Mafuyu still isn’t over Yuki.</p>
<p>Sometimes he wonders if Mafuyu will ever be over Yuki.</p>
<p>He doesn’t like the jealousy that festers in him when he sees Mafuyu staring at his guitar. He knows that Mafuyu is thinking about Yuki. He wishes Mafuyu wouldn’t.</p>
<p>He feels selfish when the jealousy begins. He knows he can’t just ask Mafuyu to forget about Yuki, but there are times when he wants to take Mafuyu’s face in his hands and kiss him until he can no longer think about Yuki. Part of him doubts that would make him forget anyway.</p>
<p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p>
<p>Uenoyama feels like he’s drowning.</p>
<p>Drowning in jealousy, anger and most of all fear. Fear that he will never be enough for Mafuyu. That he will never live up to Yuki.</p>
<p>He tries his best to ignore his feelings, to stay afloat in the mass of emotions that threaten to drag him under at any second, but there are times when it is impossible and he stays under. There are times when he lets himself be consumed just for a bit.</p>
<p>He hates those times.</p>
<p>But he can’t seem to stop them.</p>
<p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p>
<p>It’s during one of those times that his bandmates finally call him out.</p>
<p>“Uenoyama, what are you doing?” Akihiko asks him. “You’re not focused and it's messing everyone up, what’s wrong?” It takes Uenoyama almost a minute to realise Akihiko talking to him. He’s lost in thought because the previous night Mafuyu had muttered Yuki’s name while he was asleep. That moment has been consuming his thoughts ever since it happened.</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” He say even though he knows he isn’t. He knows he is so full of jealousy, anger, and fear, so much fear. He knows he’s drowning, but he can’t tell anyone.</p>
<p>Akihiko narrows his eyes at him, clearly not believing him.</p>
<p>“I’m going to go take a smoke, Haruki join me,” He says after a moment, “When we get back I hope you’ll be more focused.” Haruki gives Akihiko a look but joins him anyway.</p>
<p>“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Haruki whispers to Akihiko as they leave the room.</p>
<p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p>
<p>“Uenoyama-kun is everything ok?” Mafuyu asks tentatively as Uenoyama sits on the ground, his head between his knees.</p>
<p>Uenoyama is silent as Mafuyu sits next to him and remains quiet as he lays his head on Uenoyama’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I want to help you,” He whispers. Uenoyama looks up at Mafuyu and sees the concern in his eyes, but he also sees the bright red guitar that haunts both his and Mafuyu’s thoughts. He wants to take the guitar and smash it against the wall, he wants it gone. He just wants to for once not worry that Mafuyu is imagining that he is Yuki when they kiss. He wants to know he isn’t a replacement. He needs to know he isn’t a replacement.</p>
<p>He doesn’t smash the guitar, or say anything, just looks at Mafuyu as his emotions attempt to drag him under again. Most people would say that Mafuyu is unreadable, but Uenoyama has learned to see the small things that show his emotions. Right now he can tell Mafuyu is worried for him. Uenoyama sighs and buries his face in Mafuyu’s shoulder. Mafuyu is hesitant but wraps his arms around Uenoyama.</p>
<p>“Do you still think about Yuki a lot?” Uenoyama asks, his face still buried in Mafuyu’s chest. He feels Mafuyu tense at the mention of Yuki and regrets his decision to speak.</p>
<p>“Everyday,” Mafuyu says quietly after a minute. Both of them are quiet after that. Uenoyama feels another wave of emotions hit him when he processes what Mafuyu said. He is pretty sure that he is crying now, tears dripping down his cheeks. Uenoyama starts to sob as the tears drip faster. He knows that he’s getting worked up over something he has no right to change. He knows he can’t ask Mafuyu to stop loving Yuki or to forget him, he just wants to know for a fact that he matters too.</p>
<p>“Uenoyama?” Mafuyu asks, moving to cup Uenoyama’s face in his hands.</p>
<p>“I love you,” Uenoyama chokes out between sobs, “I love you so much, but you love Yuki,” He continues, his voice soft. “I want you to love me too, I don’t want to be Yuki’s replacement.”</p>
<p>For thirty long drawn out seconds Mafuyu stays quiet and Uenoyama’s sobs are the only noise in the room.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Uenoyama says, “I’m really sorry,”</p>
<p>“Uenoyama, don’t apologise,” Mafuyu says, and Uenoyama can see the shine of unshed tears in his eyes. “Why do you think I don’t love you,” He asks, his voice wobbling as he speaks. “The times I’m with you are the times where I don’t feel like I’m drowning in grief I can’t get rid of. I can’t promise that I will ever stop loving Yuki, but I can promise that I love you. Please don’t forget that.”</p>
<p>Uenoyama sobs again, this time tears of relief. He pulls Mafuyu into a kiss. They move slowly, savoring each other and this moment of vulnerability. It's a bit salty from all of Uenoyama’s tears but neither of them care, content and just being together.</p>
<p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p>
<p>When Haruki and Akihiko return they find Uenoyama and Mafuyu together on the floor, Uenoyama’s head resting on Mafuyu’s shoulder and the two holding hands.</p>
<p>“Are you two good now?” Akihiko asks, crouching down to poke Uenoyama’s cheek. Uenoyama looks up at Mafuyu before answering and Mafuyu gives him a small smile and brushes his thumb over Uenoyama’s hand.</p>
<p>“Yeah, we’re good,” He says with a sigh.</p>
<p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p>
<p>The sky is warm and sunny when the two visit the cemetery. It had just rained so the grass was sparkling in the early morning light. Uenoyama and Mafuyu stand in front of a small headstone. It was the first time Mafuyu had been to the cemetery since the funeral. But now he was here again with Uenoyama. It’s hard for Mafuyu to speak, but he wants to.</p>
<p>“Hi, Yuki,” He whispers out after a moment. “It's been awhile, I’m sorry I didn’t visit,” He gets no response other than the buzz of cicadas and the chirping of crickets. “This is Uenoyama, he is my boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Hello,” Uenoyama says softly, matching Mafuyu’s volume. “I don’t have a lot to say, other than that I hope you’re doing well and that I’m happy. I still miss you sometimes, but I have someone new to love and I hope you will respect that.”</p>
<p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p>
<p>The two boys are quiet as they exit the cemetery. The sun is warm and strong in the sky.</p>
<p>“I love you, Uenoyama,”</p>
<p>“I love you too Mafuyu,”</p>
<p>It’s not perfect, but it's enough for them. They know they will be ok.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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